


great things will come of this

by bulletsgerard



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:18:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletsgerard/pseuds/bulletsgerard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when you come home i’ll show you.<br/>we’ll laugh till our noses bleed, the windows shatter, and our hearts fall out onto the floor.<br/>you are mine my darling…<br/>and the world…<br/>yes, the world shall be ours.</p><p>(taken from the poem 'shit's bananas when you're disinterested' by frank iero).</p>
            </blockquote>





	great things will come of this

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely unbeta'd. Also this was just a small idea I got that snowballed into something terrible. I cried while writing this. Is that bad?

There’s a saying, ‘everything happens for a reason’. Everyone’s heard it at least once, right? Or the best one, ‘it was God’s will’. That might be good and fucking dandy for everyone else to cope with. But to Frank that’s bull fucking shit with a capital B. And he’s always known that.

He’s dedicated, he goes to work on time, make sure the rent gets paid by the end of the month. There’s just one flaw—he never has time for himself or his friends. Of course, there’s Gerard, who was a fucking time bomb waiting to explode at the last given minute. He’s known Gerard for a long time.

They met when Frank was only in 5th grade, Gerard was in 8th by that point. Frank used to hang out with Gerard’s little brother, Mikey, but he slowly grew more popular, specifically with girls, and Frank was just left out to hang and dry. Gerard had always shown an interest in him though, so Frank assumed he was left in just the same position. Who could be popular in 5th grade anyway?

Middle school was a whole ‘nother story. He’d been hanging out with Gerard practically every day by the time he reached 8th grade. Gerard was a junior by then, which kind of majorly sucked. Frank’s mom didn’t totally approve of the whole ‘Gerard’ thing, but Frank definitely did and that was all he cared about.

The summer between 8th grade and 9th grade though, had been the hardest for Frank. He lost pretty much anyone he could salvage as a friend, except for Gerard. The only reason being he had decided to come out as bisexual, which obviously showed to be a complete mistake. Frank already knew Gerard was gay, or pansexual, or even bisexual. There wasn’t an exact label for it, as Gerard had told him.

Both boys were sitting on the floor of Gerard’s bedroom, just like it usually was. It was almost tradition for Frank to go over every weekend and be entertained by Gerard. It was a lot more difficult to go over every day since Gerard seemed a lot more introverted. It took Frank about two months to work up the courage to ask his friend what was wrong.

Gerard didn’t talk very much. He usually would let Frank rant or vent about whatever was bothering him and just listen, and honestly, that was all Frank needed. But when Gerard did talk, he talked a whole fucking lot. Like he was just constantly planning the outcomes of these conversations over and over again in his head, waiting for them to happen so he could finally say what he needed.

It seemed, though, when Frank finally got the courage to ask the question, Gerard hadn’t exactly planned this conversation out very well.

“Are you okay? Like… is there anything wrong?” Frank asked, his voice wavering a bit due to the fact that it had cracked in the middle of his sentence. Puberty sucked.

“Gerard? I asked you a question… it wasn’t like, me being soul search-y for myself this time.”

“I heard you, Frank,” Gerard responded slowly.

“Well, are you gonna answer me?” Frank asked, getting up to go near Gerard’s desk where he was currently huddled up in a drawing. “That looks cool.”

“Thanks,” he said simply. Gerard was kind of used to Frank showering him in compliments about his work. “I don’t know if you’d like the answer.”

“Answer to what?” Pause. “Oh! Oh, right, to the question I asked,” Frank said in realization, quickly sinking into the seat next to Gerard’s. “Will you answer it anyway?”

“Sure,” Gerard shrugged, putting his work to the side and turning to face Frank. “So you wanna know if I’m okay, right?” he clarified, raising an eyebrow. Frank nodded eagerly.

“In a way, I am. I have a nice family, my life isn’t too shitty, and I’m not spit on every time I leave the house. So, in the living class sense, yes, I’m perfectly okay. But mentally, I’m really not sure. I mean, it’s obvious that you’ve noticed that I’m less eager to hang out or even have anyone in my space. And, really, that has nothing to do with you, Frank. You gotta believe me on that.”

“But lately, things have just _sucked_. Like, more than usual. It takes me an hour, a fucking hour, to get out of bed everyday. My work lately has been so shitty that it’s fucking pitiful to look at. I had to take two sick days out of my actual job last week because I couldn’t motivate myself long enough to get out of bed and go deal with everybody for seven hours. It sucks, Frank. And honestly, I’m already seventeen. If things keep up, then I’m planning to be outta here by twenty-seven.”

The scientific term for it was depression. Gerard had depression. Frank knew that, just from the very first sentences Gerard had said to him. His aunt had depression, so he had experienced seeing those symptoms before. It was hard to admit that to himself—that his best friend of the past three years had become depressed.

“No—Gerard, you gotta promise me you aren’t gonna be another Cobain. C’mon, Gerard. You gotta know that things are gonna get better. I mean, you’re gonna be a senior. You’re last year of high school is supposed to be memorable! Promise me.” Frank said, looking at Gerard with wide eyes. He looked like a puppy who’d been kicked around too many times, which metaphorically, could be true.

“Okay, Frank. I promise,” Gerard responded, taking a deep breath and nodding.

That was ten years ago, when Gerard made that promise. He’d gone to his mom and had her get him some help for the time being. Frank was able to see his best friend smile again.

It’s not that they weren’t friends anymore. But when Gerard got a girlfriend, Kaila, he wasn’t really able to spend much time with Frank, leaving him stranded his second year of high school. Gerard had started college right away, since he got a scholarship to one of the school’s he wanted to go to.

But now Frank was twenty four. It had been a long time since he thought about high school. Thought about, Gerard, even. They kept in touch for the most part, sending each other the occasional text and IM’ing every so often. That was how they stayed friends while Gerard was in New York.

Frank was relaxing on the couch in his apartment, aimlessly scrolling through the channels on his television when he remembered. It was Gerard’s twenty seventh birthday. The conversation they’d had during the summer between 8th and 9th grade flooded through his mind, as if the dam holding it back had suddenly collapsed.

He dug around the covers to try and find his phone. When he finally found it, he immediately called Gerard’s number, the dial tone buzzing in his ear. It rang a few times, and Frank just sat there anxiously waiting.

“Hey, you’ve reached my cell. I’ll call back as soon as I can.” Gerard’s nasally voice said though the phone. Of course he got voicemail. He hadn’t spoken to him in two years.

“Gerard, it’s me. I uh—I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. It’s been a couple years, man. I miss you. I was thinkin’ about the conversation we had, remember that one that we had about ten years ago? I got you help. I thought you were all better. We all still miss you. I know I leave you messages a lot, and I’m sorry. I guess I’m still in denial,” Frank stopped to let out an empty laugh, “I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. But, Gee, you promised. You promised me you wouldn’t be another Kurt Cobain.” The answering machine cut Frank off there, thankfully, as tears rolled down his cheeks. He knew he should be with Mikey today. Mikey still had Gerard’s old phone, but he never checked any of the messages. It would be disrespectful, and he knew it.

Frank clutched his phone in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. Most of Gerard’s stuff was in his apartment, still. His easels, his sketches, even some of his clothes. They’d stopped smelling like him a while before, though. Gerard was just fucking everywhere, and Frank couldn’t stand it. There was no way in hell he was getting rid of any of it though. Frank glanced over at one of the notes Gerard had left him the day before he left.

_“off to work! Love you, and I’ll see you soon. I hope you like the drawing I left you. I’ll always love you no matter what, even if we’re buried six feet under. :) <3 xoxo -gerard”_

It was framed on the wall, which Frank supposed was a little ridiculous, but he’d gotten the last line of that note tattooed on his hip. That was the only closure he’d needed.


End file.
